Friends Change When You Lose a Child
the loss of a child and friendship
If you have experienced the devastating loss of a child, you may notice that friends may disappear while others will show their strength and stay by your side. Often when you lose a child your friend may not make a conscious decision to avoid you but it may be painful for them to watch you grieve, it may also remind them how vulnerable they are and how life can change for them in an instant.
But this is not a time for you to worry about your friend, it is a time for you to take care of yourself and your family, just know you have not done anything to your friend, they are trying to deal with the grief in their own way. Maybe they have lost someone they love in the past and your loss has reminded them of the pain. Maybe they do not feel equipped to be there for you, after all most people have not idea how to handle loss, especially when the loss is that of a child, one of the most painful blows life can deal. Read the rest of this entry »
Grief and Loss of a Child-Anger Is a Natural Response
Anger and Grief
Grief and loss will evoke feelings of anger when you lose a child. Anger is a natural feeling to grieve; you have been cheated of a life with your child, what you love most has been taken from you and you may feel anger towards people who had nothing to do with the loss of the child, people who still have their children, people who mean well but may not say the right thing or Dr’s and even strangers who you don’t feel should be here while your child is gone. This is completely normal.
I remember I suffered with such anger and rage, I became bitter, I became a person who I did not even recognise, yet I could not stop feeling this way. My mother and other family members noticed how I would speak about others, make snitty remarks and could be very cutting. They could not understand the anger and my response to the loss. I was becoming someone I did not like, yet I had to let this pass as part of the healing process. Though I still feel times of anger they have given way to feelings of hurt and pain. I allow myself to cry instead of stuffing the pain inside. I have realised no matter how angry I am this will not bring my son back and I will only push people away further from me. My life will become lonely and smaller than it already is and this is not something I want. Read the rest of this entry »
Planning a Funeral for a Child
loss of a child
After the loss of a child there are many arrangements to to made including planning a funeral for a child, which will be far nore sensitive and difficult than making funeral arrangements for another loved one.
You may be in shock as you go through the motions, it is as if the body is and mind goes into auto pilot while details are arranged. It is as if you are looking through a window a third party to the loss at least that is how it was for me. Between the tears and break downs I handled arrangements with the help of others. It looked like I was together at times, though medicated most of the time I tried to hide away from people and put on the brave face when I had to deal with arrangements or had people drop in. But this is not how everyone will function, we need help and it’s Ok to ask for it. Read the rest of this entry »
Guided Meditation to Help Heal Grief After Loss of a Child
healing grief and loss
When a life changing crisis happens such as the loss of a child you can feel helpless and confused, full of fear and at a loss. You have been thrown into a world you cannot imagine; a life you did not plan. To help relieve some of the pain guided meditation may help the grief after loss. Meditation helps to relieve stress and repair your body so you are better able to cope with the stages of the grief you will have to go through.
After a trauma such as the death of a child the chemicals in your brain change, disrupt your sleep, moods, eating and have far reaching affects, but if you can take a few minutes to do a guided meditation this will give your body and brain some relief even if for a short time. The reason I suggest guided meditation is because it will give your mind instructions and techniques to help you meditate whereas meditation without guidance will allow your mind to wander and likely focus on your loss. Read the rest of this entry »
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From the heart,
Andrea