Sometimes it’s hard to find the perfect words to express your sympathy, especially when it is for the death of a child. You probably feel the pain the parents are suffering and if you have children know it would be a parent’s worst nightmare. However you have to put pen to paper and write from the heart.
Sometimes a poem or grief book will help you get the words to begin writing your sympathy card or letter. Sit somewhere comfortably in a quiet area. Make some notes, write on scrap paper whatever comes to mind, think of the child, what the child meant to you, reminded you of, then think of the parents and what message you wish to express to the parents. Are they wonderful parents, do they have a special place in your heart, are they close friends or related to you, do you wish to offer help. Only do that if you can commit to that. Whatever you write must be truthful and meaningful.
Choose two or three special points you would like to share about the child and or family. Write your sympathy words on scrap paper and leave them for a while before you write on your card. You may want to revisit your words of sympathy and see if the resonate with you, if not change them.
Keep the message meaningful but simple.
Here are a few examples that might help you write:-
Dear Carrie and James,
I’m so sorry to learn the sudden loss of Jake.
He was always so full of energy with and infectious smile. And he loved playing with his Tonka trucks, making dirt piles, so he could drive them over; he was so much fun to watch!
I cannot even begin to comprehend your pain right now, but please know I am here to talk anytime,
Your friend always,
Dear Mrs James ,
Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your daughter.
She was always so kind and polite to me. She always had a wonderful smile. I remember when we moved into the neighbourhood, she baked a cake a bought it to the house, it had chocolate sprinkles on a floral plate. I know where she got her kind heart ad spirit from, you raised a beautiful child and she shall be deeply missed.
Once you’re happy with your practice writing then copy it onto the sympathy card. It helps to work out your message on scrap paper first. This allows you to gather your thoughts and make changes without smudging the card.
Your personal memories shared with the bereaved, are often the most difficult writing you will do, but the message you took the time to send will be remembered and heartfelt for a long time.